Trump Pulls Healthcare Reform Bill. "Let It Explode! I'm Exploding Right Now"

In a rather Cartman-like fashion, President Donald Trump pulled out of the Healthcare game. "The best thing we can do is let Obamacare explode," Trump argued in the Oval Office. "It is exploding right now, as we speak there are explosions everywhere. Look outside. You've never seen so many explosions. Certainly, for me, it was a very interesting experience, but for me, it'll be an experience that leads to an even better health care plan...the continuation of ObamaCare."

The defeat undermines Trump’s image as a skilled dealmaker who was quoted saying "I blame the Democrats." Former Vice President Uncle Joe Biden had this to say: "Blow it out your ass Mr. President. Ya couldn't even get Barbara Comstock (R-Va) to side with you & didn't you "Grab her by her pussy" on the campaign trail? Closer my ass...Dick!"

Striking a more solemn tone, a dejected Speaker of the House Paul Ryan admitted that fulfilling the GOP's pledge to repeal the Affordable Care Act was tougher than expected. "Moving to a governing party," Ryan said, "comes with growing pains, and, well, we're feeling those growing pains now. It's like when I do my delts, growing pains but look at 'em POP!" He added, "This is a setback — no two ways about it. ... I will not sugarcoat this — this is a disappointing day for us." Political analyst and wine maker, Kyle Pottorff was quoted saying, "Big blow to the leaders. It's almost like they aren't in charge of Washington."