AUTOMOTIVE NEWS: Buick ... The Proverbial Doctor's Car Must Find a New Moniker, Cuz Doctor's

Buick, the proverbial Doctor's car has come to a bit of a crossroad. At 109 years old, it is America's longest lasting automotive marque. Its current DNA comprises of an interracial melding of east and west, as its line-up consists of vehicles designed and catered mostly to the Chinese/German markets. With the sale of Opel/Vauxhall (GM's European division) to Groupe PSA (Some French Crap), Buick will no longer have the vat of technology that the teutonics supplied ... but before we go into Buick's future, let's take a quick look into its past.

"The ideal Buick customer is comfortably well off, possibly not quite rich enough to afford a Cadillac, nor desiring the ostentation of one, but definitely in the market for a car above the norm."

Buick is one of the oldest automobile brands in the world and the oldest surviving auto-maker in America. David Dunbar Buick started to produce cars (1899) four years before Ford and three years before Cadillac. Buick has the distinction of being the first automobile maker in the world to equip its cars with overhead valve engines which were mounted amidship. It was also the first auto-maker to introduce turn signals ... neat. The early years saw an affinity for endurance racing by winning the first ever race held at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

In the mid 1930's, Buicks were particularly popular with the brief British monarch, King Edward VIII. He abdicated the thrown but kept driving Buicks, being especially found of "Woody" editions that pleased his new American wife ever-so-much.

King George VI used one for a coast to coast royal tour of Canada in 1939 sans the "wood", Elizabeth was aboard.

It wasn't until the post-war era did we experience a real sense of style come from the three shielded crest. The age of the the Waterfall Grill, Ventiports and the Sweepspear design elements soon became standards upon boulevards as Roadmaster's, Electra's and Invicta's cruised about.

The 1960's brought a whole new design language. Forgoing the curved and sweeping lines of yore. Bill Mitchell and his design team penned "coke bottle styling" where the middle of the body exhibiting a tapered tucked-in appearance with outward curving fenders. It's believed that Mitchell was inspired to design the 1963 Riviera whilst watching a Rolls Royce emerge from a dense fog on a dreary London night. He later oversaw the "boat-tail" Rivera of 1973 when he told his staff, "If you want to make something sexier; make it longer, lower and wider."

Then came the 80's. Regulations dominated the streets. Billboards spouting "Just Say No" loomed overhead as emission standards were handcuffing the vroom-vroom world and Nancy Reagan was hand-cuffing bongs. After back to back (BTB) NASCAR Grand National series wins in 1981-82, Buick thought to send a few "Regal Grand Nationals" out to woo the Monday morning shopping crowds. Most were cosmetic makeovers of the standard Regal but a lucky few (35) had a 3.8L turbocharged V-6 planted under hood, albeit producing a paltry 175bhp ... but wait, it gets better.

In 1984 the 3.8L turbo became standard. By 1986, it was the fastest car in America (bear in mind that its competitors all had V-8's under the hood). In 1987, all bets were off as Buick created the Grand National Experimental (GNX). They sent 547 GNX's to Bruce McLaren for an astonishing upgrade. Horsepower figures were listed at 276 bhp (but most experts agree that 300+ were more likely produced) with a stupefying 360lb-ft of torque. It beat the Ferrari F40's 1/4 mile time by 0.3 of a second while going 113.1mph. The only car in the world that was faster than it was a Lamborghini Countach, which had a V-12 and no back seat!

A version of that engine nestled in the LeSabre and Park Avenue's of the mid-90's. Both were sleeper cars that delighted their drivers with a mix of efficiency and performance numbers achieving 0-60mph times in the high 6.0 second range while getting 30mpg ... on top of being full size luxury sedans with all the new safety and luxury standards of 1996.

The early 2000's were crap. GM decided to call upon it's European division (Opel/Vauxhall) and along came a new Regal. Sporty and not painful to look at, the Regal had begun its road back to glory. The 2017 version, in sedan and wagon form, is a stunner with numbers to match but unfortunately, its been sold to Peugeot.

On the other coast we get overly creased, disproportioned fat-assed, (Kardashian) blobs, the LaCrosse and the Encore, which are making Bill Mitchel roll in his grave. With the loss of Opel, Buick must make a choice: Cater all its vehicles to the Chinese market, which it sells 80% of its products to or remember and embrace its stylish and racing past and take the doctorly stance to remind Americans that they need to shed some bulk to become sexier.

GM has renewed the trademarks to the name Grand National and GNX, so with any luck, we might get a rebirth but the official word from Buick is, "Don't hold your breathe!". The Avenir and Avista concepts are truly stunning and would look great cruising down most any lane and hopefully they'll not be inspired nor catered to the new troop of prescription pushing doctor's that we have these days.

Editor's note: My love for Opel comes from my mother's 1977 Blue Max, which I put my head through its windshield, going to my first ever concert (wait for it), Donny and Marie Osmond at the Wisconsin State Fair. Yes, Sir...that was it!

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