The Black V's Bring Home the Bronze as the US Women's Speed Skating Team Donned Their V-Powe
- Feb 21, 2018
- 2 min read

Disappointment be damned as the U.S. women's speed skating team donned their gay apparel, via their private parts ... to narrowly skate away with the bronze medal after beating the Dutch trio of Lotte van Beek, Ireen Wust and Antoinette de Jong (who blames the loss to her brother Ivo for being such a cunt) after a dismal 16 year hiatus from the podium.
As Mia Manganello crossed the finish line, she glanced up at the videoboard and let out a victorious and vulva filled victory hoorah! She then grabbed hands with American teammates Heather Bergsma and Brittany Bowe. The trio then thrust their arms in the air as fellow teammate Carlin Schoutens dusted of the ice shards that formed on the skating team's vaginas.
“I’m super happy to share this moment with these girls and all the girls from (the) U.S. Speed skating (team)," Bergsma said to the ISU (International Skating Union).
"At that point I don't think any of us could feel our legs but luckily we could feel our Va-jay-jays. We gave it everything we had. We are just grateful we all stayed on our feet to get to that finish line," Bowe said to the media whilst adjusting her camel-toe.
The Japanese trio of Miho Takagi, Ayano Sato and Nana Takagi set an Olympic record of two minutes and 53.89 seconds, who beat the previous record set by the Netherlands during Monday’s quarter-final by 1.72 seconds, had nothing to say because their twats were warm and dry enjoying sake and such with their gold medals neatly tucked in.
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